Am I failing?

I don’t know how to start this post. I’m not even 100% sure if it’s because of life in general, or if it’s even just an age thing. All I know is that my beautiful baby girl is not herself…


I hadn’t noticed anything until she started pre-school. I tell myself this is when it started but I don’t know, tiredness is not my friend. Although super excited to go, she hated it. She couldn’t bare to be away from me and sobbed. After collecting her early on all four mornings she went, and then finding out about her getting attacked I pulled her from school. You can read about that more here.

I had lots and lots of lovely people commenting on that post to say I had made the right decision. I did have a few tell me I shouldn’t have done it, and one lovely person who decided to comment annom told me I was a pathetic wimp.

But no one online knows my daughter, I do and I knew she just wasn’t ready. She had only just turned three. Christmas if she had of been born on her actual due date (two weeks later), school won’t have even been mentioned until next year.


Since she started school she became massively clingy,  I couldn’t go anywhere without her hanging on to my leg it seemed. She started getting upset about everything, and retracted into herself. She started picking at the skin around her nails, this is something I’ve done since I was a child when I’m feeling anxious. She also got a nervous blink and got tearful a lot. I signed her up for swimming lessons,  and she screamed and sobbed through the whole lesson because I wasn’t in the pool with her. It was so traumatic for both of us, that she didn’t go back.

Her ballet lessons that she’s been doing since January changed too. Because she’s three now, she goes to a different class. One where I’m not allowed to sit in, so I think you can guess what happened here. She went in perfectly, but ran out crying halfway through, and hasn’t been back since. She just dosent want to go anymore, which is sad as she loved ballet. But the class is different, the children are different and I can’t sit in because then the other children get distracted and want their mums in too.


Tia is just three years old and when you think about it,  has been through so much recently.
Got a baby brother.
Got chickenpox the same day as a brother so couldn’t touch him and was sent away for our first night in the house (on wrong medical advice given to us).
Potty trained both day and night because of the pox.
99% of her friends go to school now so she dosent see anybody anymore.
Started school.
Started swimming lessons.
Started a new ballet class in the same week as the above two.

Her grandad had a heart attack which left him in hospital for a week, she wasn’t allowed to visit him the whole time. This really affected her, she’s his most favourite person in her whole world.

Got attacked by a boy who “tried to bite my hand off mummy”

When I think about it, it’s not really suprising that she’s become quite clingy. So much has happened and changed in such a short amount of time. (Three months) we had real issues getting Tia to poo when potty trained. She just had no interest in doing it on a pot or toilet. I took her to see the pharmacist who was no help, she suggested I change up her diet but Tia’s problem was that she didn’t want to go. Not that she didn’t need too..

After two months of coaxing and paisa she started going for a poo everyother day on the toilet. This was a massive deal! She didn’t even go that much in her nappies.

Then she started school.
She stopped pooing again.
I would have to basically blackmail her to go once a week. Say something like “if you don’t have a poo, you’re not having any lunch/ a bath/ playing in the garden”
Sometimes it would work and sometimes it wouldn’t.

Sunday night she pooed when asleep in bed. I explained to her that it had happened because she wouldn’t go on the toilet and it had to come out. She seemed to understand and promised to try again the next day on the toilet. She didn’t and last night it happened again.


I’m at my witts end now, my beautiful baby girl is really struggling and I don’t know what to do to help her. When I pulled her from school, changes were obvious in her immediately. She stopped her nervous blinking and stopped picking at her fingers. She became less withdrawn and seemed happier.

Is this all now because of her brother? She told me a few days ago that she was sad because I loved him more than her. It absulotely broke my heart and I sobbed into her hair when she fell asleep in my arms a few minutes later.

It’s hard trying to explain to her that it’s not that I love him more, he’s just totally dependant on me. She just dosent understand,  she’s three so of course she dosent. So what do I do now? Where do I go? I’m looking for some new baby and toddler groups in the area to go to with her, In the hope that getting out of the house more will help.

Do three year olds normally go through separation anxiety?

Tot threads.

Fashion is not something I’ve thought much about since becoming a mum.  Although I never really followed fashion anyway, always choosing instead clothes that were comfortable and suited me well.

These days all my money is spent on the smalls, I so love buying them clothes. Particularly Scandinavian brands as they’re mostly organic and gorgeous bright colours.


Each week I’ll share a photo of the kids in my favourite outfit of the previous week, and hopefully you’ll find some lovely new brands/shops.



This week the kids wore beautiful new items from a company called boys & girls. . They’re organic and amazing quality, one of the best I’ve come across. I’ve not had anything from this brand before but they’re a firm favourite now. They wash well and are super soft, I ordered these from who always offers free UK delivery.

What have your tots been wearing this week?

Re – joining slimming world.

Eeek so now baby M is three months old, and knowing he’s my last baby I’ve signed up to slimming world. I have big goals to lose 2.5 stones at least, and at least one of those by Christmas.
Christmas is a first goal for many reasons, Christmas obvs, my best friends 40th birthday party, my son’s christening and Lastly it’s my 30th birthday. I want to feel good in a pretty dress for all of these occasions.

So I’ve re – joined,  I’ve dragged my friend along for the ride too so we can help and encourage each other. Today we have been members for a whole week so got weighed, and I’m super happy with my results! My plan is to lose 1lb a week which will get me my stone for Christmas target.

Starting weight 13.1lb
Target weight 12.1lb
Loss 4lb
New weight 12.11lb

So I’m well on track for my stone before Christmas, and I’ve found it pretty easy to be honest. I thought I might find it a bit harder as I’m breastfeeding. But slimming world really make it easy for you, I do have extra allowances and ive made sure I’ve had them. I think it also helps that our leader Vicky is super lovely, she’s brand new like us and is a great inspiration as she looks so fantastic! I also treated myself to a fitbit charge HR which I’ve found really useful for getting me up and walking. I’ve set a goal of 7k steps a day and will build up as I get fitter.

Special shout out to my friend Debbie who lost half a stone in her first week! You smashed it girl.

What have I eaten? Lots of omelettes, chicken,  beef, fruit and I’ve upped my water intake. I’ve not drunk as much tea as I’m not overly keen on sweeteners, so I’ve swapped tea for glasses of water with the occasional diet coke.


A typical breakfast choice for me is overnight oats with lots of fresh fruits.


Lunch is normally an omelette or pasta with side salads and fruit afterwards. This one is made with two eggs, a sprinkling of cheese, two spring onions and cherry tomatoes.


One of my dinner choices this week was called nacho style feast which was so good I can’t tell you how amazing it was. At only 1/2 a syn for half of the above photo it tasted so indulgent. It will be a regular for sure.

See you next week for the next update, if I lose 1lb I’m happy and still well on track to losing my first stone before Christmas.  Xx

Budgeting with children 

Budgeting with my children is something I have always planned to do. I’m already teaching Tia the basics about money now at the tender age of three, using role play in her new shop. It’s both fun and informative for her, even if she doesn’t know it yet. We’ve been decorating our own piggy bank, that was sent to us by the lovely people over at Think money href=””>image

Whilst decorating our piggy bank, I’ve been having a think about what I want to teach Tia about budgeting and money. 

1) Save save SAVE! This might sound really simple, but it’s not something that was ever taught to me, and I wish it had of been. I don’t want Tia to ever worry about unexpected bills or know she’ll never be able to own her own home as she could never find a deposit. 

2) Budgeting. We all hope our children will do well for themselves don’t we, and part of that is the possibility of going to university. We will help out with the fees as much as we can, but I want to tech her how to budget accordingly so she can eat/pay bills etc. 

3) Don’t take out un-nessacessay credit. I quickly learnt as an adult that you need to take out some kind of credit so you get a score. This affects whether you can apply for a mortgage or loan, even getting a mobile phone contract could be difficult without it. However taking out more than you need, and overspending without being able to afford to pay back your debts, it’s not a situation I ever want either of my children to be in. 

Tia is at the age where she doesn’t really realise about money, and how you give money to get goods. I find budgeting now I have children, is both more important and harder to do. I didn’t return to work after we had Tia, because it made more financial sense to stay at home and look after her. Now we have two babies to feed and clothe, and still only have one income so I’ve had to budget more. Everything I’ve learnt and am learning I will teach them as they get older, it pays to be smart with money.
What top tips do you have for teaching children the values of money?  
*disclamer* this post has been written in association with Think money, and is a competition entry. All words and Images are my own. 

We’ve quit pre-school.

After just four short days. Let me explain why…

So on the 27th August my biggest baby turned three years old. Two weeks before her due date, meaning she was entitled to start preschool in September.
I wasn’t sure to be honest,  she just seemed so small and hadn’t spent much time away from me  but I was assured by the people around me that it would be good for her and me.
So I signed her up,  for five morning a week. Three hours a day, I didn’t think it was that long. She started on a Wednesday at 8:45 full of excitment. My worries weren’t in overdrive as she had spoke of little else over the summer. So when she told me to “go home now” pretty much the second we walked it, I prayed she would enjoy it.
Me and Baby M went home to have a tidy up and pottered about for the next three hours until it was time to collect her. On arrival the teacher told me that she had started to get a bit upset 10 minutes before home time. It was just a bit long for her, I was so proud of her though. To go pretty much all morning before she got upset. She had refused to use the toilet so was busting to go when we got home though.


She told me she missed me all the way home with her little bottom lip out, and told me she was so sad and was I sad? She was exhausted and was in bed by 5 after falling asleep in her dinner, what an exhausting first day she had! She told her daddy that she didn’t want to go back to school when he got home from work, this she had repeated to me all day whilst I tried to reassure her that it was ok.

The next morning she was excited to go back to school, I dropped her off with no issues again, I spoke to the manager about reducing down her days. I told them two mornings a week would be more than enough, i dont know what i was thinking when i said five. She was just too small and was exhausted all ready. I paid my snack money invoice and left Tia with no problem, but I recieved a phone call from the preschool at just gone 11. They explained quickly to not worry but Tia was upset and could I possibly nip in earlier to collect her. When I collected her she was telling me that she missed me again and was sad.

When I quizzed her at home, she couldn’t tell me why she didn’t like school. She kept repeating that she missed me and didn’t like the teachers (I’m guessing because they’re not me)

Monday she was excited to go to school again, but I was called again at just before 11 asking if I could go back because they couldn’t calm Tia down. When I arrived a few minister later, she was being cuddled by a teacher who explained that they couldn’t get her to smile. She had been sitting on top of the pirate ship sobbing because she wanted to go home. That broke me, I was so upset for her. I really didn’t know what to do, they explained that it’s common for new pupils to feel that way. They’ve never been away from their parents before etc, and the fact she wants to be with me is a good thing as it shows she lives bing with me so much. That made me smile a little, I took her home and made a huge fuss of her. Did lots of playing and told her she had two days off now.

Today after I dropped her off I nipped to the supermarket to do the weekly shop. I missed a phone call whilst on the shop as I had no signal, I found the issued call and voice mail when I got back in my car at 9:40. The preschool had called me at 9:20 asking me to go back as Tia was crying a lot again. Just an hour after I had dropped her off :-(
I rang them straight back feeling so guilty because I had missed the call and nearly half an hour had passed, had my baby been crying all that time?
The teacher was lovely on the phone and told me that she had calmed down and was playing with her friend now. But could I go back an hour early anyway as she wasn’t her normal smiley self. So I went back at 11 and found her crying on a teachers lap, with a cold compress on her hand and scratch marks down her face. Turns out a little boy had bitten her hand and scratched her sweet little face because she was playing with a bike, and he wanted it.



At first I was too shocked to really say anything, after I had hugged her she asked me to take her to the toilet (she still wasn’t going at school) and on the toilet said to me “Mummy, that naughty boy tried to eat my hand and hurt my face” my heart broke on the spot.

After she had finished on the toilet she ran off to lay with her friend, she loved it the whole time I was there, whilst watching her play I was asked to sign he accident book and it was brought to my attention that the boy who did this, was known to be violent to the others. He needed to be watched more ect, would Tia like to go on afternoons instead when it’s quieter and a shorter day?

This is when I completely went nuts. Why was this allowed to happen? I get that it probably happened really quickly, but was wasn’t he being watched? They explained that they were trying to get extra help in for him, which I don’t think is good enough now. I’m not going to send her in when
1) she’s already struggling
2) To potentially get attacked again.

So I’ve told them she’s not going back, and I’m happy with my decision. She’s just too little and she dosent legally have to go yet. Life’s too short for her to be getting upset when she dosent have too. Legally she should be starting reception next September which is NUTTS as she was two just a few short weeks ago. I know she can be delayed a year but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.

Win baby show tickets. 

It’s that time of the year again guys, I LOVE the baby show and always try to go. I think it’s so helpful to see the products in the flesh to try before you buy, I also love interacting with the brand and getting helpful demonstrations. Next month, the baby show is in London Kensington Olympia 23rd to the 25th October, and will be baby M’s first visit. He was in my tummy at the last one, I’m looking forward to checking out the highchairs and weaning bits as we’ll be starting around Christmas time! If you’ve never been I highly recommend a visit, 100’s of brands in one place under one roof, with exclusive discounts it’s really worth a peek. You can purchase your tickets from

I’m also giving you the chance to win a pair of tickets today, just leave me a comment telling me which brand you’re most looking forward to meeting. This giveaway closes on Wednesday 14th October at 11.59pm, my decision is final. 

The Baby Show with Made for Mums, the UK’s leading pregnancy and parenting event, will be returning to Kensington Olympia from 23rd-25th October 2015. The Show is a must-attend event for new and expectant parents providing everything needed for bump, baby and you including all the essentials, alongside the latest, innovative products and boutique brands. 

 The Baby Show highlights include:

• Over 200 trusted brands offering visitors the chance to thoroughly test and try before buying.

• Exclusive show offers and competitions from top parenting brands.

• The Baby Show stage will feature an array of leading experts, including nutrition specialist Annabel Karmel, breastfeeding specialists Geraldine Miskin and Clare Byam Cook, first aid expert Tracey Taylor from The British Red Cross and sleep experts Mandy Gurney and Fi Star Stone.

• Catwalk shows with all the latest fashions in maternity, baby and toddler wear.

• A complimentary crèche where parents can drop off their little ones and enjoy the Show knowing they are being cared for.

 The Baby Show is taking place on Friday 23rd, Saturday 24th and Sunday 25th October, open from 10:00-5:30pm each day. Standard tickets are £20 and we have 2 pairs to give away.

 Ticket Competition Terms & Conditions

No purchase necessary. Entrants must be aged 18 years or over. Competition is open to UK residents only.

Entry into this competition confirms your acceptance of these Terms and Conditions and your agreement to be bound by the decisions of The Baby Show.  
Entry is strictly limited to one entry per person. The winner will be notified by email or phone call once the competition closes. The winners will be selected at random from all the correct entries received before the closing date and time. All prizes must be accepted as offered. There can be no alternative awards, cash or otherwise. There is no cash alternative to the stated prize. Entrants will receive a ticket code which can be activated at

Your data will be treated in confidence and will not be disclosed to third parties.

Cloth nappy love.

So its been a while since I wrote about cloth nappies, to be quite honest I’ve just not been using them. I found I didn’t have enough newborn size nappies to go more than a single day without washing. Also Tia has fully potty trained now so doesn’t wear them anymore, not even for bed. So I’ve been waiting until baby M fits into his BTP nappies, I tried a few last week and most have fitted perfectly! So here’s what has been on his bum this week.

Bum genius freetime.


These were my favourite brand and style nappies with Tia. I’ve been able to get a half decent fit on baby M and they’ve so far been leak free.

Totsbots easy fits V4


These have been a bit hit or miss, one out of four so far have leaked which I’m blaming the fit for. It’s easier to get a good fit with these than the freetimes though.



I love this brand so much, I have both pocket nappies and a wrap system in this brand, and both have fitted little legs really well. I so wish I had more of these, if I could use them exclusively alongside totsbots easyfits I would.



I tried unbranded pocket nappies with Tia and never got on with them. But I just couldn’t resist this breast-feeding “eat local” nappy from Tiny nippers. It’s very bulky on him with two MF inserts, but I managed to get a good fit. Just need to swap a mf insert for a bamboo one and it will be fabulous.

What have your little ones been wearing this week?

Outlook auto-shade review. 

Travelling in the car with children can be stressful at the best of times. For me the one thing that has caused the most stress is protecting them from the shade. Since having Tia, now three, I’ve had three cars. All with very different shaped windows making choosing which shade to buy difficult. The suckers always seem to undo no matter how much spit used, and how clean the glass is. They’re never quite big enough to fully shade and the fact you cannot open the windows when they’re on, cased much frustration for Tia.

One of my all time favourite baby supplier shops Cheeky rascals stock a shade called outlook auto shade, it fits onto your car door (rather than the window) like a sock, and is held in place using a clip on the bottom of the car door. They come in two shapes depending on the shape of your car door, and come singularly or in a twin pack. Also because of the way they attach, you can open the car window! I was so excited to try these out, especially as I had tried two different brand shades since having baby M and both had failed to provide adequate shade.

I ordered a set of rectangle shaped Outlook auto shades* after using the handy “what shape fits my car” file. I also watched the fitting video so I knew how to install the on arrival, it seemed simple enough and I was looking forward to receiving them. As always, delivery from cheeky rascals was prompt so I didn’t have to wait long. They arrived packaged together in plastic case ready to fit, no assembling needed. They go on the car door in three easy steps,

Pop over the top of the car door, much like a sock.

Adjust the length of the strap to secure the shade.

Attach the clip to either the door handle or the base of the door.

The outlook auto-shade keeps out 99% of harmful uv Rays, protecting your children whilst allowing fresh air in and keeping pesky bugs out. I’ve been using these shade for around a month now and I can honestly say they’re the best I’ve ever come across. They do produce a little noise when driving along, but not enough to bother me. The noise created by having the windows open is far louder, as is the whistling from my roof bars and the constant “are we there yet” from Tia! The children are still fully able to see out of the windows meaning we’re still able to play fun games such as “I spy” and “yellow car” and my personal favourite “are we there yet” sorry about that.



I 100% would recommend the outlook auto-shades, yes they’re more expensive than the normal stick on ones. But the amount of money I’ve spent trying to find a decent stick on shade, I would have paid for these outright in the first place. Car safety is something I harp on about a lot (honestly, ask any of my friends) and that doesn’t just mean using a decent car seat, but protecting your children from harmful UV Rays too.


Totsbots peenut system.

I was super lucky to get my hands on the brand spanking new peenut system by Totsbots. After being told initially how they worked, I was super intrigued and couldn’t wait to get my mitts on them.

Totsbots are argumentally one of the best and well-known reusable nappy brands, especially in the UK where they are based. The easyfits have been used and loved by thousands for many years, and their two-part system has won many awards.

I’ve always loved the Totsbots wraps, but found the bamboozle nappy to be a bit bulky for daytime use. This is a shame as the nappy is so good at its job, so when Totbots contacted me to say they were bringing out the brand new Peenut system, which meant I could use their wraps with a slimline insert, I was very excited.

The peenut system features a wrap with additional poppers on the inner part, and inserts that popper into place. Place a liner on top and that’s it! The design means it’s slimline but still very thirsty, I’ve found most slimline nappies (especially pockets) to not be very absorbent. The fact you can choose you use either one, or the other or both inserts together means you have a nappy tailored for your baby. But also one they  shouldn’t outgrow as you can switch up the way you popper in the boosters to suit. Use the small booster alone for light absorbency, the large alone for heavier absorbency and both together for the highest absorbency, perfect for nights.

The new peenut system can be found online at and will retail for

* Single plain wrap, size 1 and 2 £10.99

* Single print wrap, size 1 and 2 £12.99

* Day to-night pad, £6.99 contains one small and large insert together.

*Single pack (size 2) £15.99 plain £17.99 print contains one wrap and one set of day to-night pads.

* Mini pack (size 2) £42.99 contains two wraps and four sets of day to-night pads.

* Birth to potty kit (size 2) £195 contains 8 wraps (2 of each element print, 2 white) 16 pad sets, bucket, mesh wet bag, potion, liners.

I received four wraps, eight insert sets and some liners so I could fully test out the system. I found that we only needed one booster snapped in for my young baby, and that mostly I could use one wrap a day meaning I had a much emptier bucket in comparison to normal. After popping in one large insert, I found it easy to get a good fit on my chubby two month baby. He’s breastfed and has explosive poos, the “straight up the back, covering the clothes” type and fingers crossed we’ve so far had no leaks when using these.

Going out and about I found them easier to have already made up, as I do all my nappies. It can be a bit of a faff to remove the wrap, remove the insert, then wipe down the wrap, before popping in a new insert and placing back on the bum. My boy LOVES to pee  all over me at every given opportunity  (it seems) so I like to get a nappy back on his bum ASAP. Also the fact that they are more slimline helps when dressing baby, especially as winter is fast approaching. Tights, jeans and leggings can be quite restrictive when wearing reusable nappies, let’s be honest they are far bulkier than disposable nappies, so this for me, is a big selling point.

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Travelling in his car seat has so far not given us any compression leaks. We do stop regularly if on a long drive though to feed him and I’ll change as needed. I’ve found using one set of pads perfect for overnight with a fleece liner. Currently my baby is now sleeping around 8 hours overnight, they are far less bulky than the bamboozles, I’m hoping they’ll still work as well when he’s a few months older and feeding longer. I’ve not been using the fleece liners during the day and we’ve had no problems with sore bums etc.

The booster sets are made from bamboo and took me a day and a half to dry inside and most of the day outside to dry. I’m sure they would dry much faster if we had some actual sun and warmth, both of which have been in massive short supply down here in Essex.
Things that could be improved? For me I wish there was poppers on both sides of the wraps, when the boosters get wet and heavy, they tend to scrunch up and move about. Having poppers both ends would stop this, and in my opinion make them the perfect nappy system. Other than this, I cannot fault them at all. I have always loved the wraps, and the new system makes them perfect for both day-time and night-time use.

Well done Totsbots, I can see a potential future award winner here.

It could have been us

The harrowing images of three year old Alan Kurdi being washed up on a Turkish beach, has woke the world up.
I sobbed when I saw the photos, my beautiful daughter is the same age.
Just three years old, young Alan was just a baby, on a boat fleeing a world of mass murder only to drown anyway along with his brother and mother.
What kind of life it that!?


#itcouldhavebeenme, it could have been my children, let’s please help these people. Many of them have nothing but the clothes on their backs. You can donate £5 by txting the word SYRIA to 70003 which I have done.

If you are unable to donate money, you can also donate old clothes, shoes, baby things etc. There are collection points set up all around the country who are distrabuting these items for you.

Please don’t turn your backs, we are all the same. We are humans. Some just need a lot more help than the rest of us.

TEXT 70008 and the word SYRIA to donate £5

Save The Children’s terms and conditions can be found here

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