I don’t know how to start this post. I’m not even 100% sure if it’s because of life in general, or if it’s even just an age thing. All I know is that my beautiful baby girl is not herself…
I hadn’t noticed anything until she started pre-school. I tell myself this is when it started but I don’t know, tiredness is not my friend. Although super excited to go, she hated it. She couldn’t bare to be away from me and sobbed. After collecting her early on all four mornings she went, and then finding out about her getting attacked I pulled her from school. You can read about that more here.
I had lots and lots of lovely people commenting on that post to say I had made the right decision. I did have a few tell me I shouldn’t have done it, and one lovely person who decided to comment annom told me I was a pathetic wimp.
But no one online knows my daughter, I do and I knew she just wasn’t ready. She had only just turned three. Christmas if she had of been born on her actual due date (two weeks later), school won’t have even been mentioned until next year.
Since she started school she became massively clingy, I couldn’t go anywhere without her hanging on to my leg it seemed. She started getting upset about everything, and retracted into herself. She started picking at the skin around her nails, this is something I’ve done since I was a child when I’m feeling anxious. She also got a nervous blink and got tearful a lot. I signed her up for swimming lessons, and she screamed and sobbed through the whole lesson because I wasn’t in the pool with her. It was so traumatic for both of us, that she didn’t go back.
Her ballet lessons that she’s been doing since January changed too. Because she’s three now, she goes to a different class. One where I’m not allowed to sit in, so I think you can guess what happened here. She went in perfectly, but ran out crying halfway through, and hasn’t been back since. She just dosent want to go anymore, which is sad as she loved ballet. But the class is different, the children are different and I can’t sit in because then the other children get distracted and want their mums in too.
Tia is just three years old and when you think about it, has been through so much recently.
Got a baby brother.
Got chickenpox the same day as a brother so couldn’t touch him and was sent away for our first night in the house (on wrong medical advice given to us).
Potty trained both day and night because of the pox.
99% of her friends go to school now so she dosent see anybody anymore.
Started swimming lessons.
Started a new ballet class in the same week as the above two.
Her grandad had a heart attack which left him in hospital for a week, she wasn’t allowed to visit him the whole time. This really affected her, she’s his most favourite person in her whole world.
Got attacked by a boy who “tried to bite my hand off mummy”
When I think about it, it’s not really suprising that she’s become quite clingy. So much has happened and changed in such a short amount of time. (Three months) we had real issues getting Tia to poo when potty trained. She just had no interest in doing it on a pot or toilet. I took her to see the pharmacist who was no help, she suggested I change up her diet but Tia’s problem was that she didn’t want to go. Not that she didn’t need too..
After two months of coaxing and paisa she started going for a poo everyother day on the toilet. This was a massive deal! She didn’t even go that much in her nappies.
Then she started school.
She stopped pooing again.
I would have to basically blackmail her to go once a week. Say something like “if you don’t have a poo, you’re not having any lunch/ a bath/ playing in the garden”
Sometimes it would work and sometimes it wouldn’t.
Sunday night she pooed when asleep in bed. I explained to her that it had happened because she wouldn’t go on the toilet and it had to come out. She seemed to understand and promised to try again the next day on the toilet. She didn’t and last night it happened again.
I’m at my witts end now, my beautiful baby girl is really struggling and I don’t know what to do to help her. When I pulled her from school, changes were obvious in her immediately. She stopped her nervous blinking and stopped picking at her fingers. She became less withdrawn and seemed happier.
Is this all now because of her brother? She told me a few days ago that she was sad because I loved him more than her. It absulotely broke my heart and I sobbed into her hair when she fell asleep in my arms a few minutes later.
It’s hard trying to explain to her that it’s not that I love him more, he’s just totally dependant on me. She just dosent understand, she’s three so of course she dosent. So what do I do now? Where do I go? I’m looking for some new baby and toddler groups in the area to go to with her, In the hope that getting out of the house more will help.
Do three year olds normally go through separation anxiety?